Annah Marie

October 26th Annah is legally our daughter. We had such a great day. November 6, we sealed Annie to our family for eternity. It was a beautiful day. We enjoyed the day with family and friends.
The Temple was beautiful. Annie was quite shy of everyone looking at her, but she did just fine. Her dress was made from my wedding dress, and she was so beautiful. We are unspeakably happy to have our daughter.
The sealer talked about how special the children of today are. The spirit was so strong. He talked about how blessed we are to have them a part of our family. He also talked about how we would know how to care for them and how to teach them. I need that. I know all parents are biased on their own children, but my children are so special and I love them so much. I need all the spirit can give me to help them be all they can be. Annie, thank you for being my princess.

Kids

This picture didn't make it on to the Adoption announcement, but I really like it. As you can see from Caleb, it was taken in the morning before school. Notice his eyes. Do NOT suggest however that he looks tired and needs to get to bed earlier. That could not possible be it. Just ask him..... I dare you. Trever is the most photogenic of the group. I love his pose. Someday he will melt some poor girls heart. Annie and Joseph forget that I really don't want a picture of the inside of their nose. And Jessica is holding relatively still and even hinting at a smile. My kids. I love 'em.

Reasons

So this picture is out of date now. We had baby Sianne for a week, had a week break and now we have Jessica with us. She is 18 months old and is a cute blond hair light brown eyed cherrub. I have been feeling lately like everyone thinks we are crazy and can't understand why we have taken another child into our family. Some people have said I am a saint. I think I would admit
to being crazy long before I would consider being a saint.
I know that I shouldn't care what other people think. But is causing me some stress and worry, so I thought I would try to explain here... at least for myself and for my children someday when they wonder. (if I was crazy that is, they know I am not a saint!)

When Jason and I were first married right around the time I was expecting Caleb, I saw a commercial for Foster/Adoption. They showed teenage children needing a home and family. It struck me at that time, the need these children have and how so many of us are so blessed that we should be able to give. I thought that we would one day look into doing foster care, but not at that time. Little did I know how my life would change in the following two years.

When Jason got sick and we had to rely on so many for help both physically and financially I leared alot about needs and giving and recieving. I haven't put all that I learned into words, but the feelings will always remain. Jason and I did discuss at length the fact that when we could we would repay all that was given to us by giving to others.

Then there comes the long old story of how we tried to continue our family. There is alot of old baggage there too, but the end result is that we began Foster care. I do believe Heavenly Father had a hand in it. We also at this time moved into our home. It was so much bigger than we were used to and we both commented that we would fill it up with children.

Well, we now have had 15 children and we have 5 currently living with us. They have all been my children since the phone call was placed saying yes we would be able to take them. I have had a certain attachment with each of them and a piece of my heart resides with each where ever they are. A little over a year ago, before Annie came to us, I was beginning to think about Joseph entering into school and what I would do with no children at home. I knew I could not just stay at home and be the duster of dust bunnies all the rest of my days, but defining who I would be or what I would do was so very illusive. I called it my mid life crisis. I love and miss teaching band, but my heart just wasn't in it like before. Plus I would not be able to juggle football games and such and stay with my family like I want. I know I could go back to school and become a nurse, but that idea still just doesn't sit right. A friend told me I should just get a fun job, like at a craft store or something. As I tried to make that fit, I realized that I have always wanted to make a difference in peoples lives. I feel like I did that with band. I gave kids options and broadened horizions. But now is the time for something else.

Well then we got the call and Annie came to us. She is a light and truely a blessing just as they all have been. We thought we were finished. And yet Jason and I both kept feeling like someone was missing. So we put ourselves back on the list. Throughout this time I have come to realize that this is my passion. I feel strongly that these children deserve a chance. They teach me so much and make me feel like I am not so indebt. Heavenly Father has given me so very much... more than I deserve and I feel no more deserving that those who have so little around the world. I would truely be selfish and ungrateful if I did not share. I have love to spare and room in my home, Jason has a good job that pays well. He was spared for a reason, and until we find out what is was Heavenly Father spared him for we will create a reason.... to help his children. I know that not everyone can do this job, and I know that not everyone should do this job. I don't judge anyone for not doing it. But I do know that I can do it and so I will.

We are waiting for all the court stuff to be over and we will then make Annie a permanent part of our family. We may or may not make Jessica a permanent part of our family, it is still too early to tell. We may or may not be done adding children to our home and to our family. I can't see the future. Sometimes we feel so old to still be changing diapers and having little ones underfoot. Right now however, this is something we can do, something we feel we are supposed to do, and Heavenly Father will help us.

Aiah

Ok, I don't know if that is how you spell it, but I will be hearing it in my sleep tonight. All three boys tested for their orange belts today. It was a very long day, but they did so well and I am so proud of them. It really is not as easy as it may look. Joseph has really grown leaps and bounds since starting Tai Kwon Do, but all three of them are learning self discipline, self confidence and respect. They are really working physically as well as mentally and it is helping them in so many ways. It takes alot of time and a fair bit of moolah, but it is worth it and I am so glad we are able to do it. I hope you enjoy the pictures... I am very proud. There are more pictures on facebook. Look how fast I was at doing this post..... same day.

Chiata Dance

So my stupid camera is really broken and I am still waiting for the new one I ordered to get here. For this reason, I do not have pictures to go with this post. I did want to write about it before I forget though.
For those of you who don't really know Joseph, to say he is shy and clingy is an understatement. He has been getting better though. The other day we were in the grocery store. Joseph was walking beside me and was seriously engrossed in his own world. He invented the Chiata dance. He would say Chiiiii Ata over and over while doing various moves all of which involved shaking his cute little tushy in various ways. It was so cute. As we went along he got more and more brave (oblivious) and louder. He was laughing and have a truely grand time. He kept telling me to watch his Chiata moves.
Well as all good things must come to an end, some fairly young, nice looking, well dressed man came up behind us and passed. He was smiling as he observed for a min. Then said, " Hey dude, really nice moves." Of course that brought Joseph to a complete stand still right behind my leg with his arm around it. It has taken several days to convince him to even attempt to do the chiata dance again and I still haven't gotten the unreserved dance he performed in the store. I am so glad I got to see it, and hope he learns to "let go" a little more often. Everyone should dance to the music they hear without being embarrased. Life is short laugh more often. I love you Joseph and I so loved your fabulous Chiata dance.

Longing

I always used to love the winters and the snow. I must be getting old. My least favorite colors today are brown and white. I miss family and wish I could see the sun today. Here's to Spring arriving early! Everyone think water sports.

Texas

Some of the highlights (completely out of order) were watching Brinton and Ami play at their basketball games. Watching Brinton brought back strong memories of Terry. They look alot alike. Listening to Mom and Dan cheer brought back memories too and I was only embarrassed a couple of times. : ) The Temple was beautiful. The kids were so well behaved, not just in the temple but during our entire stay. I really just can't say just how impressed with the kids I am. I know they were on their best behavior for guests, but I am very impressed.

The spirit was very strong in the Temple, but I felt it throughout the weekend and in the Taylors home. It makes my heart glad to have another family blest with the experience of adoption. I could get all weepy and doctrine here but suffice it to say I consider this experience a great blessing to Patrick and Ashlyn and mabe even more so to everyone else involved. Thank you all for letting me be there.

Ashlyn and Hannah are the "two little girls" They are full of life and energy. Ashlyn is catching up and is such a pretty little thing. She is a sponge just soaking up all she can and has a sweet spirit about her. Hannah is a live wire. Her excitement for life is contagious and hard to keep up with. She is loving and so happy. Ethan is a handsome young man. He is a big helper and is so smart. Patrick is eager to please and do what is right. He loves to give hugs and be helpful. Connor is growing up so fast. He is very helpful and is so good at sharing and teaching by example how to treat others. Ami is such a beautiful young lady. She is a little mother and takes good care of the house and her little sisters. She is so responsible. Brinton is funny and helpful. He sounds just like his dad. None of the kids complained or refused to help or do something that was asked of them.

I had a fabulous time in Texas. Great family, great relaxation, great new place to see, and pretty good weather considering what I came home to. Jenny, Dan, and family, Thank you so much for your hospitality. I miss you each already. I wish Texas wasn't so far away. hoping to visit again sooner rather than later.

10 Things...

I often get told by "people who have been there" to treasure this time with my young kids and that one day I will miss the things that seemed so bothersome now. Well, I have created a list of at least 10 things I am positive I will not miss.

1. Wiping the pee off the toilet seat, back and floor every time I want to use it and several times in between. (Boys)

2. Doing the laundry for 4 very messy people, Little or not. (For the hundreth time Your shirt is not a napkin or a tissue. )

3. Tripping over or stepping on someone elses belonging that were left right in the middle of the walk way.

4. Nah uh....... Yah huh...... Nah uh...... Yah huh........YAH HUH....... NAA UH......YAH HUH.......

5. Mom he's bothering me, ....... MOM he's bothering me......MOOOOMMMM HES BOTHERING MEEE.

6. Cleaning up pee in places other than the bathroom.

7. MOOOM I went Poop!

8. Cleaning bare bottoms that are older than 3.

9. Hearing " I'm not hungry, I have a tummy ach, I don't like it. " at the dinner table only to be asked for something to eat moments after the table is cleared.

10. Washing clean folded clothes that got scooped up into the laundry basket because they never got put away when you sent them to put away the clean laundry.

Now least any of you think that I am not enjoying my children and realizing how fast time flies, I have a list of 10 things I know I will miss and treasure them, even if I have to hide it.

1. How small the fingerprints on the window of every room and car are.

2. Someone needing me in the middle of the night because they had a nightmare.

3. Kissing the owies better even if I had told them to stop before someone got their eye poked out.

4. Washing tiny little baby clothes, (Already miss that one.)

5. Watching my children gobble up dinner and say.... That is the best meal ever. even if it was store bought pizza.

6. The funny way they talk when they don't really know how to say a word. (Dick Donalds and Heckitocker)

7. Watching them learn that they really can do something that they didn't think they could.

8. Them wanting to sit on my lap and play with my hair.

9. Singing bed time songs.

10. Knowing exactly where they are when it is 10:00.

Ok I could probablly list more than 10 if I thought about it, but I could probablly make myself cry too, and that was not the reason I started this entry. Time is going by so fast and I know it and sometimes I wish I could slow it down, but really Can't they at least wipe up after they hose down the toilet that I have to sit on?!!!?