Monday, October 20, 2008

Life

Well, I have used the excuse of being really busy for some time now. The truth is, I have been having a down period and I really didn't want you all to have to endure the whining. I love my husband, my children, my life. I know that doing foster care is what we (my family and I ) are supposed to be doing for now. I love having all the things that we have and I feel very blessed. That being said, Jason has had alot of migrains lately and it is difficult for us all when Dad is sick. I worry like crazy, and that only increases my stress level. Going from three kids to five over night has had its challenges. We are just getting into a routine, and I know that any day now DCFS is going to call and tell me to pack up yet some more of my children and give them to someone else. The minute these children come to me, I feel like they are mine, and I have now given away 8 children. When these two go, it will be ten. I don' t want sympathy, and I get tired of people telling me I need to quit. I would like to, but every time we don't have a placement I feel very unnerved, agitated and restless. Maybe this is just what it is like to go crazy.
I have come to the conclusion that I am a "glass is half empty " kind of person and that really bothers me. I would like to be the other way.....
We have been sick around here for the last little while with different things. I have parented enough kids to know that that is just how it goes, but it causes stress too.
Jan, I miss you. I know you are busy with work and family, me too, but I miss you.
Like I said I have been in a funk for some time now. Not depressed, just not Jubilant. I guess that is just life. I know that it will get better and I really do recognize my blessings everyday, and am very greatful. I love you all and miss a great many of you. I check all your blogs regularly (unless you are lurking and I don't know who you are) and pray for all of you.
The baby needs fed, Joseph wants to play a game, and the oldest two are due home from school soon. I hope you all have a "glass more full " day today.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

You always have been so strong and wonderful. Did you know that even when I was little I looked up to you? Yeah, I feel kinda dumb saying that. We always keep all of our family and extended family in our prayers. Where are you guys living by the way?

Anonymous said...

Hey sis, well the only thing I can tell you is to keep doing what you know to be true in your heart. I have come to relize some very important things, in the month that I have been gone. Family is the most important thing in the world. I love my wife and kids, and both Jan and I are hoping to some day have another baby. I feel the same way that you do. I think that you are a wounderfull person and a great example to all of us for doing something so wounderful for the children that you bring into your home. I love you very much and you are always in my prayers and thoughts.

Love Pat

Jennifer said...

Keep your chin up. These rough days come and go. Hopefully it won't stick too much longer. I know what it is like though. You are in our thoughts and prayers and ok, hello... you can just call!

Ana said...

Hello! I just decided to go ahead and create an account so that we can communicate more often! Especially in times like this. I often read all of your blogs and Jenny's, April's, & Amber's and I feel that I am still connected and part of the family, today I wanted to respond and let you know that I admire you, for everything you do and everything that you have done for our family, you have been a great example to us and although we don't often express it, we love you and your family so much, we miss you and enjoy every minute that we do spend together. Hope to see you guys soon!!!